12.14.2015

to be a mommy

"To be a mommy is to always feel like you're never giving enough and like you couldn't possibly give any more."


Lately I have been trying to wrap my head around all the feelings I've been feeling and emotions I have been faced with while being a stay-at-home-mama to two little kiddos. I have been trying to figure out why I'm so dang tired at 9pm (and 5am and 2pm) and why I always feel like I'm failing as a mother, even when I "know" I'm trying my very best. Then this quote popped up in my Instagram feed and duh! This is it, 100% truth for every mother parent out there. We give and we give and we give. And yet ... we never feel like it's enough. No matter what our day is like, I always feel like I could have done more. More holding K. More dancing with P. A healthier breakfast, maybe? More books, less television. More nursing, more soothing, more hugging. More I love you's. More more more. And yet, when my head hits that pillow at 11pm, my body is telling me that I absolutely did all that I could and now it's time to SLEEEEP. I don't know, I guess it's just the struggle that comes with being a mommy. A struggle between a big heart and a tired body. A struggle that I think I'll be faced with every single day for the rest of my life. But these little boys are worth it and I am so lucky to be their mommy. Please pass the coffee.